I was just playing around while an online friend was busy

Wrote this as a series of Twitter DM's to him :) When I was done, went WHOA and realized I HAD to post this here. Hope you enjoy!

All right, yes. Let me say this up front, let me get this out of the way. Yes.

My species DID evolve as a parasitic infestation on another species. Yes, we cannot ignore that.

It is true that our original "food" species died out as a result of us. We cannot ignore that.

And yes, it is true that our young are implanted into donor species bodies. They do hatch in their thousand and yes, YES, they do devour the host alive.

We cannot ignore that, we know it, we aren't PROUD of it, but it is a fact of reproduction. And that is why you are here today.

You answered our classified ad for a host. You do know what is going to happen; we will "donate" this dollar amount to your next of kin.

It will hurt. A lot. Until you die.

But of the one or two of our larvae that survive the devouring of the host AND each other- for this, we, our species, cannot thank you enough.

Just sign here, and here- your initials here- thank you...

Let me transmit this off and- done. Legal and above the board! Simply drink this- just drink it, it'll help separate you from the pain-

We will provide you with an ample supply of this drink until the end. Yes, it is habit forming, but really- drink.

Good. Now come with me- carefully- good. Oh, the eggs were in the drink. Just come with me. Sit here.

Good.