Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Today was an interesting day for many reasons.

About 10 AM, people were walking on our roof, using leaf blowers to clean out the gutters. I didn't mind so much but my housemates were waked up pretty hard... SHE works until 2 AM, doesn't get home until 2:30ish, then has to wind down before she sleeps. That didn't help to have people stomping around on the roof!

The heat, combined with worry over financial matters, has really dragged me down and it has shown in the videos of late and I am so sorry.

Monday, June 26, 2017

I didn't sleep all that well last night-

maybe 1 1/2 hours, waking from pain and then trying to rest for another 1 1/2... but I am feeling pretty happy today :) Done 4 videos for the channel and fighting the urge to go make a FIFTH video! I don't work; I don't have a job; I broke my body and mind working as a nurses aide and my wife dying not 10 years after that sort of finished the job. I paid my taxes until 2006 and I still pay them now- just because I am on disability doesn't mean I don't pay taxes on everything. But I have been on disability since.

Nursing is worse for your body than crab fishing or coal mining. And I don't say that as a goof- I say that as someone who has read a bit and heard some about how a gov't agency (the CBO?) did an independent study on back injuries and found out that worse than almost everything was- nursing. I am also making fun of myself in this comment, as "I sorta remember" and "Maybe I heard" are NOT verifiable sources... but I AM happy enough with my memory that IF you google search on it, I DO believe I will be vindicated :)

But hey :)

Sunday, June 25, 2017

The past 2 nights have been kind of rough

because my housemates have gone to a concert on Friday afternoon and have been gone since! Now I've been alone for 2 nights and I discovered I STILL get mass anxiety when I am alone. Sigh.

Because of my social anxieties, I don't like being around people and I seek times and places where I am alone. But when I am alone, I quickly start hearing my own thoughts bouncing off the walls... going stir-crazy in a VERY short period of time, and NEEDING social contact... I can't be happy in ANYWAY situation I find myself in :)

Saturday, June 24, 2017

This is not going to be a good summer

because it is MEGA hot already. I am upstairs in this duplex and the heat makes the 2nd floor HOT- and on a HOT day, it's DOUBLE hot. Manoman :( The heat has been putting me to sleep! Gonna do my best tho to power on!

Friday, June 23, 2017

Well, shuckle my duckle.

And apparently, my duckle NEEDS a good shuckling because I didn't post a thing yesterday. On the other hand, neither did I think on any of my various fiction projects. I have a lot in my head I need to write down before I forget FOREVER. I have SEVERAL novels and a TON of short stories I need to get OUT o f my head on into the "digital world" since there ain't no more typewriters and paper no mo.

I'd say I promise to do better but I've already DONE that and look how well that worked, aye?

Well, I promise to do better anyway :)

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

Hopefully my computer is not going to die anytime soon though it probably will.

I turned off my computer, unplugged everything, opened it up and took out the graphics card and got the air blower ready. I then BLEW all the dust out of my computer with the air compressor (my Kirby vacuum cleaner- with the proper attachment it comes a damned good but DAMNED LOUD air compressor :) ).

Then I put the graphics card back in, closed the case back up, plugged it back in and turned it on.

And was HORRIFIED when it told me I needed to enter SETUP to recover my BIOS. I tried, but the video only showed 1/4 of the screen with no movement- had to turn it all off.

Spent the next HOUR fighting with my computer. It would start to load, then blue screen. Would start to load, then give me a device missing error. Finally, it told me to enter SETUP again and I did so- looked at the settings, left. It blue screened. Then it loaded further, device missing errored. Loaded FURTHER, blue screen and NOW it's loaded and it seems to be stable...

I do not know why it had such problems and I can only hope it will continue to start when I turn things on in the morning :| If I go suddenly dark, now you know WHY.

Tuesday, June 20, 2017

Yesterday was not the best day I have ever had

and I am very sorry that I didn't have an entry. Soon I will have another story tho, so THAT is a good thing!

Sunday, June 18, 2017

I am more poor now than I have ever been

and that's life; mostly I wanted to talk about how, while I am MEGA poor right now (I make 14k per year on disability; my rent is 95% of my "income") I have not always been so.

Before the injury that took me out of the workforce, I had always worked. I was in the USAF for 4 years; I looked for work while living on savings; I worked as a nurses aide for 15 years. When I was single, I made a single man's money and that was good. I was able to survive and survive well.

Later, I married and together my wife and me were comfortable. We were solidly LOWER middle class- with the $30k/year I made, the $60k/year SHE made, we were comfortable. Not  Comfortable or COMFORTABLE, but comfortable; we lived in her parents home- they lived downstairs, we lived upstairs.

First I injured my back so severely I have not been able to lift 15 lbs without pain. Cannabis makes the pain easier to handle; it doesn't make it go away. She was able to work for another almost 2 years. Then her health went south quite quickly and she too went onto disability; suddenly, we went from $90k/year to $26k/year. We were able to make it work, though it hurt.

Since my wife has died, my income has dwindled to my disability AND the VERY kind people who have donated through my gofundme.com campaign; and who have become my patreon.com patrons. I "make" 14k per year; it takes more than 14k per year to live. I am barely ahead of the wolves at all times.

Thank you so much to everyone who has ever given me any money at all to survive. I am extremely grateful; I am ALIVE right now, and without your help,  I wouldn't be.

Thank you all so much.

It was about a year ago, or so,

my formal introduction to vore and women being swallowed whole and entire by hungry snakes which then digest these swallowed women alive.

None of us have control over our internal wiring. No one understands WHAT makes our systems WORK the way they work. One man's meat is another man's poison, as the old saying goes and it is true.

I dunno WHY I find pictures of women being swallowed whole by snakes, hungry snakes who are then going to digest these swallowed women alive, exciting. But boy, do I. Swallowed women being digested alive by giraffes; swallowed women being digested alive by fish; swallowed women being digested alive by- well, you get the idea.

WHY? And why did I have to find the picture that started this whole thing? :)

Life. Life is life :)

Friday, June 16, 2017

My sincere apologies.

I have had a terrible headache all day and it's just effecting me. My sincere apologies.

Thursday, June 15, 2017

Getting late in the day

And I am very tired already... not quite sure I'll be able to stay awake much longer! My apologies for no new stories... have ideas that need to gel! :)

Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Hmmm. Maybe I shouldn't try to post everyday?

NO- that is conceding defeat! Yes, I seem to fail at posting daily here. BUT! While I don't post daily, I do post at LEAST 5 days a week and sometimes my posts are pretty awesome if I so say so myself :) *preen, preen*

Anyway, I do have more stories coming up and more random outbursts so thanks so much for reading!

Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Let us have a thought experiment here.

Let us say you live with another person in an apartment. You both have your own bedrooms, and you share a kitchen and a living room. Inside your bedroom, you have a box of stuff that doesn't fit into your closet. So you put it into a corner of the room. It's not bad- it's just a box in the corner fo your bedroom.

Now let's say that that box, in your bedroom, pisses off your housemate. This other person would NOT even know you have a box out of place in your bedroom that you DO NOT SHARE with this person. And you keep your bedroom CLEAN. But every time you see this person, they give you a hard time about how MESSY your room is because they hate mess and you have a BOX in your room.

And that at LEAST twice, this person YELLED in your face about how they KEEP GOING INTO YOUR ROOM and it's a MESS because there is this BOX in the corner of your bedroom.

Welcome to my life! :)

My housemates WILL NOT STAY out of my bedroom. My room is CLEAN but I have stacks of STUFF. I use my bedroom as STORAGE and a sleep room. It is CLEAN but cluttered.

And I CANNOT KEEP my female housemate OUT of my room and YELLING at me because SHE thinks my room is a mess. Because it's CLUTTERED.

Easy fix :)

STAY OUT.

Monday, June 12, 2017

I was just playing around while an online friend was busy

Wrote this as a series of Twitter DM's to him :) When I was done, went WHOA and realized I HAD to post this here. Hope you enjoy!

All right, yes. Let me say this up front, let me get this out of the way. Yes.

My species DID evolve as a parasitic infestation on another species. Yes, we cannot ignore that.

It is true that our original "food" species died out as a result of us. We cannot ignore that.

And yes, it is true that our young are implanted into donor species bodies. They do hatch in their thousand and yes, YES, they do devour the host alive.

We cannot ignore that, we know it, we aren't PROUD of it, but it is a fact of reproduction. And that is why you are here today.

You answered our classified ad for a host. You do know what is going to happen; we will "donate" this dollar amount to your next of kin.

It will hurt. A lot. Until you die.

But of the one or two of our larvae that survive the devouring of the host AND each other- for this, we, our species, cannot thank you enough.

Just sign here, and here- your initials here- thank you...

Let me transmit this off and- done. Legal and above the board! Simply drink this- just drink it, it'll help separate you from the pain-

We will provide you with an ample supply of this drink until the end. Yes, it is habit forming, but really- drink.

Good. Now come with me- carefully- good. Oh, the eggs were in the drink. Just come with me. Sit here.


Good.

Sunday, June 11, 2017

I was so out of it yesterday

I am so sorry. Couldn't do a third video, couldn't make a blog entry... aye yi yi, my life. So sorry and I will do better from this day on!

I hope :)

Friday, June 9, 2017

I more than hoped-

I streamed for an hour and a half today- THE LAST OF US remastered on the PS4! Worked very well! I am very pleased and I hope everyone enjoyed! Yay! :) I plan on streaming at LEAST 3, 4 times per week!

Thursday, June 8, 2017

I am hoping to start streaming

THE LAST OF US remastered, from my PS4, starting om 6/9/17, so here is hoping! I feel pretty good about streaming... but then, the other day I tried and it was a NIGHTMARE... so who knows?

Here's hoping!

Wednesday, June 7, 2017

I am so sorry

I missed yesterday and almost missed today. I need to sit down and get some serious work done! YIKES!

Monday, June 5, 2017

Everyone on RIFF.TV seems to stream, and I am confused by that

I thought it was primarily for recording yourself and uploading the file, and everyone seems to be streaming and that confuses me. I want to RIFF some movies and some serieseses, so I want to figure this out but I am still confused. Sigh :(

Sunday, June 4, 2017

Saturday, June 3, 2017

I Have A VERY Lovecraftian Tale In My Head

I am going to be writing that one here VERY so9on. It's a 2nd person story and is... pretty freaky, so hopefully, it'll all work out well!

Friday, June 2, 2017

Wet to bed early last night

because I was EXHAUSTED and I had, through the actions of my housemates, gotten THC'd up a storm! Super tired because I haven't been sleeping for the past few days.... Went to bed at 11 PM and 5 hours later was up for the day! My knees are still killing me (t'was of course pain that woke me and drove me from the bed; life is life).

Sorry I've been failing to write daily. Still trying hard!