Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Today I actually got some stuff done!

A very good thing :) I am rendering, as I type this, my 1st game video for my game channel in some days- it's been so hot I've usually fallen asleep all evening! Last night and tonight I've actually been awake!

Yay :)

Thank you all that read this for continuing to do so, it is GREATLY appreciated. I know I don;t say much here but what little I do say means a lot. Thank you all.

Sunday, August 27, 2017

My biggest issue with the adpocalypse on YouTube.

I don't get paid for reaction videos. They are copyrighted material; copyrighted material gets the COPYRIGHT HOLDER paid. There is nothing wrong with that- the Music Policies on YouTube spell out which songs you can react to and what the Copyright Holder's say you can do. Most are FINE with you reacting/showing.playing their music- BUT you don't get paid, THEY do.

Not a problem. I can handle that. Mostly makes sense, too :) I don't agree they should get the ENTIRE video's revenue, but there you go. I am no lawyer; I have no options. Follow the rules, or don't play the game.

I used to do my daily reaction video gratis for all my subscribers. I didn't get paid for them, I still don't, but my OTHER videos at least "paid" for the luxury of doing reactions for my subscribers.

What with the recent YouTube issues, where anything even slightly controversial is demonetized, I'll upload THREE videos in a day and get paid for maybe ONE if I am lucky. No more do I have TWO videos to help "pay" for the reaction. Now I frequently have TWO or THREE demonetized videos in a day.

I can't AFFORD that :( If I don't get paid for my vlog and my game videos, I CAN'T keep doing reaction videos where I get the COPYRIGHT HOLDER some cash, but me- nuthin'.

What a conundrum! My channel's growth was BUILT on my reactions- if I stop doing them, what will happen to my channel? Likely death. But I don't get PAID for them and right now, cash is sort of at a premium :(, then I can't keep up doing what I am doing.

I do not know what is going to happen :( I really wish YouTube wasn't doing this to us, the people that BUILT it.

Oh well. Life is life.

:(

Saturday, August 26, 2017

And my housemates came back last night.

So NOW, within the next few days, we MUST have the talk. I HAVE to talk to them and get this out BEFORE the 3rd of next month.

Oh man, I really do not want to do this. I am passive; I hate conflict. But I CAN'T let this situation continue.

Sigh.

Here's hoping! :)

Thursday, August 24, 2017

My housemates have gone camping

and last night was a VERY bad night. Insomnia, anxiety. It was after 3 AM when I fell asleep- a little after 5 AM when pain woke me. So yay.

Another night by myself. It's okay, today I feel much better about things. Which is good, considering if things don't go well in the next few days, I may be living here alone. I hope, anyway.

So we shall see! Hang in there- I promise I won't stop posting and writing fiction!

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

I am very worried.

I have no money. Literally, at this time, no money. I am going to have a talk with some people who have put me in this situation and I really do not know what is going to happen. It may be very bad.

But at this moment my comp is sick and getting sicker. If it dies, I go dark and that's it- I am GONE. I have NO money. I cannot even afford a CELL phone- I will be GONE.

I'm freaking out about this and I do not know what to do what with Youtube demonetizing EVERYONE and EVERYTHING and I am suffering from financial... trouble, shall we say, tho  a better word for it starts with "A".


Saturday, August 19, 2017

I dunno if, when I woke at 5 am,

it was a migraine that woke me, or if I just noticed I had a migraine after I woke up.

Today has been a very painful day.

more tomorrow, promise!

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Before the end of the month

I am going to be having a meeting with some people. It may well not be a good meeting- I can only hope it is. It may so pear shaped and quickly. I simply and literally have no idea and it's driving me crazy. I wish I had more I could say on this right now but I simply cannot. I sorry :(

Monday, August 14, 2017

But, while not dead,

I still tend to fall asleep in the evening. Sigh. A combo of poor sleep (I sleep very little, pain wakes me after only a few hours) and the heat.

So much yay :)

Take care :)

Saturday, August 12, 2017

I am not dead, I have not given up on this blog!

Honestly, I have not. But in the morning time, it is difficult to type for a few reasons. Early morning it takes me a few hours to be awake enough to type legibly and intelligently. Unlike my mouth which can just turn on and GO with little to no input from my brain, my fingers require a LOT of paying attention to when I type, especially since I am a two-finger typer... I type with the index finger of my left hand, my middle finger on my right, and I hit the space bar with... with either thumb, depending on how I feel at the time. I CAN type 104 WPM with 0 errors when I try- I don't try all that often :)

But this summer has been HOT and HUMID and I cannot handle heat well at ALL as I have gotten older. Heat just  KNOCKS ME OUT- I either literally fall completely asleep where ever I am, OR I enter a dazed/confused state... I am not asleep, but I am not awake either. I am... not functioning, but still DOING things that I cannot remember, explain, or wish to have happened. I have come out of my daze to find I have turned off my computer; I have switched off every functional program and RESET my desktop with the taskbar on the side, small flickering icons, etc.

I HATE the heat. I like being functional and efficient and the heat robs me of that.

I am so sorry :(

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

I know I complain about the heat a lot

but I do NOT do heat well. I have been DYING from sweating so much - ARGH. So hard to make videos when the heat makes me PASS OUT. Oh yay!

SO I am sorry- doing my best!

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Thank you everyone, you diehards you, who leave me comments!

I am sorry I don't answer comments more often and I am sorry that when I do they are usually so short. I thank you all so very much for any comments I receive and it is awesome- thank you all so very much!!

Saturday, August 5, 2017

How sustainable actually is it that I am doing 5 daily videos?

I literally have no time to do... anything really, all day, but prepare to make videos, make videos, and edit those videos I have made. And I don't mind that at ALL- it keeps me busy and NOT being busy is my bane. When I have nothing to do, I sit and brood over the death of my wife and I don;t want to do that and I know Jennifer wouldn;t want me to do that. So I do my best to stay busy! And right now, making videos is the best way for me to stay busy.

Hopefully,  my game channel and game videos can actually take off. If it doesn't and stays just a low-level channel with only a few hundred subs- again, this is ALL therapy, so it's all good!

Have a great day ebbryoon!


Friday, August 4, 2017

Yesterday I paid my lawyer the $500 he needed to finally get this bankruptcy DONE.

I had to take an online course to show I was a good person. So I did. Took a test to show that indeed I am a good person and paid attention. The certificate cost $25 and it was faxed to my attorney. He'll do $25 worth of work and take my $500 as more money he soaked from me.

But at least it's DONE.

FINALLY :)

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Oh today I hurt quite a bit.

Such is life tho. Hopefully, I'll be able to get some pain control. Dunno.

Wednesday, August 2, 2017

Time always flies, whether or not you are having fun.

Every time I turn around, another day has passed where I missed a day here. And while I know I don't say much, if anything, of interest, I do feel it is imperative for me to keep doing this. It keeps open a form of communication for me that I do enjoy- typing the written word, forming stories and sometimes, as today, not-stories :)

The fire in my belly is still ashes and embers- not dead, but not roaring either. Hopefully before I die I can get the fire burning hot enough I can get my (at least ONE of the MANY novels in my head) novel done! :)